Example of a College Admission essay on Personal about:
UW-Madison / pharmacy / education
Student applying to UW-Madison pharmacy faculty.
Why is UW-Madison a number one priority university for the applicant?
How can UW-Madison satisfy the professional aspirations of the applicant?
What contribution has the applicant’s membership in the society leadership program made into his choice?
Studying in UW-Madison is one of the main ways leading to the accomplishment of my academic and career goals.
UW-Madison Admission Essay
Introduction: This is the point in my life when I truly realize who I want to become and what I have to do to achieve it. Applying to UW-Madison is a priority for me. My primary goal is to get a food science BS, and then continue my studies in the field of pharmacy. The reason I have chosen UW is because this educational establishment is one of the top schools on the territory of the United States of America and I am hundred percent confident that I will get the knowledge that is required to become a real professional here. It is the place where the “seeds” of my professional aspirations can find the perfect soil to grow properly in. My personal efforts and the educational base of UW will become the key to my successful future and will help me achieve extraordinary results in the field of pharmacy and nutrition. So, studying in UW-Madison is one of the main ways leading to the accomplishment of my academic and career goals.
My high school teachers owing to their qualified educational methods have inspired me greatly to continue my education in the sphere of pharmacy. Chemistry has always been of an enormous interest for me. My arrival to the United States brought me to the understanding of how nutrition is important nowadays, when the food can be tremendously harmful and not contain enough vitamins for the organism. If we are what we eat, than I want to make sure we take inside only the best products that will never do any harm to a human body. Besides my great desire to get a food science BS and dedicate my future life to pharmacy I am up to continuing my active social life. I do not only want to get and learn new information about nutrition in order to acquire the profession I want but also want to share my experiences with other students. I know that I will not only fit the educational community of the UW but also give my classmates an example of cultural flexibility and thirst for knowledge. The sphere of extra-curricular activities is my second priority. Back in high school in Hong Kong I was a member of a social service club, sport team and a cheer leading team. I truly enjoyed and still enjoy volunteer service, especially if it goes about helping disabled children or the elderly.
Conclusion: I feel myself so needed when I help them and it makes my heart beat faster. Being the member of the leadership program society in which I can give a hand to the new students and use what I had learned to help them, makes me happy. Shortly, I am going to become the international orientation leader and help the new international students to adjust. I honestly enjoy helping people in any sphere of life and helping them in the field of pharmacy is one of the most valuable things in the present times. I want to study in the UW because the course of this university and all the benefits I can get from it is one huge step toward the realization of my dream to become a real professional in the sphere of pharmacy I have chosen.
In the long essay prompt, the University of Wisconsin-Madison is looking for a modified version of the “why us” supplement. Even if Wisconsin isn’t your top choice, for the purposes of this essay, you should put yourself in the shoes of a student that’s wanted to attend Wisconsin for the past few years. If you have family ties to the university, or live in Wisconsin and have grown up rooting for the Badgers in sporting events, don’t hesitate to mention it! The admissions committee wants to see commitment and genuine interest in the school—they should instantly feel your passion for Wisconsin as they read through your essay.
While the prompt appears to pose two questions: “Why Us?,” and “What opportunities would you take advantage of as a student?” you should be blending the two questions together throughout your supplement. Show your passion by mentioning specific courses, clubs, or programs that you are interested in. The university website will be your greatest resource for this — there’s a wealth of information available!
Explain how your experiences throughout high school qualify you for admission to the University of Wisconsin. Articulate how those experiences demonstrate, in the words of the admissions website, “leadership, concern for others and the community, and achievement in the arts, athletics, and other areas.”
Try to provide an example of each of those three areas (or, better yet, find an activity that combines multiple). Serving as the captain of a school athletic team demonstrates both leadership and athletic achievement while selling handmade crafts at charity auctions demonstrates concern for community and artistic achievement. Don’t try to make the entire essay just about these three facets of your personality, but do make sure that you adequately explain how your activities exemplify each character trait.
Also, don’t be afraid to talk about experiences unrelated to your major: If you’re applying to the School of Education, you can absolutely bring up an organization in the School of Business that focuses on entrepreneurship, like the WAVE or WEB program, or a research opportunity, like the Grainger Institute in the School of Engineering — the more well-rounded your interests are at Wisconsin, the more likely you are to be accepted.
The last, and optional, component of the prompt asks you to explain any “circumstance that could have had an impact on your academic performance and/or extracurricular involvement.” Be very careful with what you write here, and remember that it’s completely optional. If you choose not to include it, there’s really no harm done (and, if anything, it eliminates the possibility of writing something that could decrease your chances of admission). If there was a situation throughout high school that was thrust upon you (think family/personal medical emergency or moving schools), you can absolutely write about that, as it will help to establish sympathy with the reader.
If you’ve had any experiences that could reflect negatively on you, including them in the essay may not be wise. Writing about depression, drug/alcohol use, or criminal activity could raise red flags and prevent you from being accepted. If you feel strongly about including one of these topics (or something similar), definitely reach out to a guidance counselor, teacher, or trusted adult to ensure that you’re crafting your message in the best possible way.
We hope our analysis of the two supplemental essay prompts has helped you to fine-tune your plans for your Wisconsin-Madison application!
Best of luck with your application, and GO BADGERS!
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